Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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