I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize