just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
