You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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