Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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