Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
