Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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