i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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