when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize