wake up i wanna do it froggy style
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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