I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
