I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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