We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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