Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
