when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
