I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
