i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
