walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
