not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
