Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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