i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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