she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
