I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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