there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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