I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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