it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Text me some of your sweat
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
