you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize