I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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