6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
