some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
