Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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