Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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