i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
