i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
