I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
