I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
