I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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