I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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