who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
