I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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