Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
