Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
