i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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