Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
