Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
