Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
