very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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