you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
