you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
