Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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