"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize