i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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