guys are not supposed to queef...right?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
