check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
