As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
