you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
