What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
