I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
