Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize