I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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