If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
