OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
