cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
