Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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