I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I still have a little drunk in my system
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize