how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
try to milk me bitch
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