dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
