On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Your dad touched me again.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
