exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
