my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
