I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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