how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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