I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
