my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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