can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
