so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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