Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
