when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
