U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
