If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
