Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize