We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize