The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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