so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
