After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
