I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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