so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
nutella sex= disaster
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
